


Where Is My Mind?

by yasminkhxns



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/F, sorry yaz i feel like we all just love to hurt you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 20:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18156587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasminkhxns/pseuds/yasminkhxns
Summary: The only sound that filled the room was the soft beep of the heart monitor, a sound of hope for The Doctor.---Yaz is involved in an incident at work that lands her in hospital.





	Where Is My Mind?

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first serious piece of fanfiction in about 6 years so please be kind!!
> 
> Sorry the summary sucks and sorry for hurting Yaz, seems to be a trend in thasmin but we love angst. Also shout out to the thasmin discord! It was you guys that inspired me to get back into writing.
> 
> The title of this work comes from the song Where Is My Mind by Pixies. Suuuper creative of me I know

The only sound that filled the room was the soft beep of the heart monitor, a sound of hope for the Doctor. As Yaz lay there in the bed in front of her post-surgery with white hospital sheets draped across her unconscious body, oxygen mask covering her mouth and hiding those soft lips, the Doctor couldn’t help the feeling of guilt that crept through her veins at the sight of her motionless best friend. Maybe more. The two women had been tip toeing around the subject of ‘them’ for a while, the only reason for the Doctor’s tentativeness being her fear of allowing herself to fall in love again. This new regeneration feels so much, and it terrifies her because she knows as soon as they cross that line, there is no going back for her.

 

The door behind the Doctor creaks open and Najia steps into the room holding two takeaway cups.

 

“Your tea Doctor.”

 

“With-“

 

“With eight sugars yes, I promise.”

 

A slight smile flashes across the Doctor's face, but only for a second as she thanked Najia, taking the cup and wrapping it in her hands taking comfort in its warmth. It reminded her Yaz, whose hands were always warm. But not now. Not as she lay in the bed in front of her looking so helpless. The Doctor looked away towards her feet, counting the lace holes in her boots in an attempt to distract herself from the feeling of the guilt becoming thicker in her throat from looking at Yaz’s pale face for too long. The Doctor closed her eyes, remembering the call earlier that day from Najia.

 

* * *

 

 

_The Doctor was tinkering underneath the TARDIS console when the phone rang._

_“Oh! That’s the first time that’s rung since your sexy new makeover!”_

_The TARDIS hummed at the compliment, warming under The Doctor’s greased fingertips. She pushed herself up from the beneath the console and skipped around to the other side, taking a moment to wipe her hands before picking up the phone._

_“Hellooooooo?”_

 

_“Hello? Doctor?”_

_“Who is this? How did you get this number?”_

_“Doctor it’s, Najia. Yaz’s mum?”_

_“Hi! Yaz’s mum! This is a surprise. To what do I the pleasure of this phone call?”_

_There was a long pause as the Doctor fiddled with a switch on the console, unsure of whether to break the uncomfortable silence._

_Najia let out a long sigh before she continued, “It’s Yaz. She’s been in an accident at work, they’ve taken her to hospital. She told me if anything happened to her to call you as soon as I could.”_

_It took the Doctor a moment to comprehend what Najia had just her told as her blood ran cold through her veins._

_The Doctor’s voice was hard as she spoke, “Najia please tell me she’s ok.”_

_“All they’ve told me so far is that she’s suffering from a head injury, I’m on my way to the hospital now, I’m assuming I’ll be meeting you there?”_

_“Yes. I’ll get the boys and be on my way, see you there Najia.”_

_The Doctor hung up before Najia could return her goodbye. The Doctor sprinted towards the TARDIS doors throwing them open as she dashed across the road to Graham’s house._

 

* * *

 

The Doctor opened her eyes and up looked up across the bed at Najia, who was sat on a chair the other side of Yaz. The Doctor broke the silence that had enveloped the two women.

 

“Any news?”

 

“Only the same as before. That they can’t be sure how serious the head injury is until she wakes up and that her punctured lung wasn’t too severe.”

 

The Doctor gave a slow nod in reply, setting her coffee down on the bedside table. She slowly reached out, taking hold of Yaz’s hand with both of hers and softly rubbing her thumb across Yaz’s knuckles. Najia noticed the intimate action, eyebrows raising slightly.

 

“What are you to my daughter, Doctor?” Najia asked. The look on her face stern.

 

The Doctor’s gaze moved away from Yaz’s hand toward Najia, holding eye contact, attempting to carefully craft a response in her mind until all she could come up with was,

 

“Its complicated.” She grimaced at her own answer and the look on Najia’s face told her it was the wrong thing to say.

 

“Its complicated? My daughter comes to me one afternoon, gives me your number and says, ‘if anything bad ever happens to me call the Doctor as soon as you can.’ Ever since she’s met you, which I still don’t know how by the way, she’s wanted to do nothing but spend time with you. I’ve never seen her be like that with anyone before. She hasn’t got a bad word to say about you Doctor. She thinks you hung the stars, and all you can give me is, ‘its complicated?' No. I’m not having that. Give me a genuine answer.”

 

The Doctor was frozen in shock at Najia’s outburst, though she supposed she had every right. Najia had no idea she was whisking her daughter off to the other ends of the universe in front of her very eyes. The Doctor took a moment, squeezing Yaz’s hand as a way to give her some confidence as she thought of a way to respond.

 

“Well.. I-“

 

Just as the Doctor was about to begin her explanation, Yaz’s eyes started to flutter and she let out a slight groan. Both Najia and the Doctor shot out of their seats, the Doctor darting out of the room to go grab the boys.

 

Najia softly cupped her daughters face as she woke, a smile creeping onto her face as she saw the recognition in Yasmin’s eyes. Yaz spoke even though her voice was muffled by the oxygen mask.

 

“Mom?”

 

“Yes, Yaz it’s me. Mom’s here.” Tears sprung to her eyes knowing that her head injury hadn’t affected her memory of her. It was then that the Doctor burst back into the room, the boys in tow as they all gathered around the end of the bed. Najia turned to face them all, smile still on her face.

 

“She remembers me Doctor.”

 

Yaz slowly reaches up, now feeling more aware, and removes the mask so that she can speak properly. She turns to looks at Najia, who is now looking back down at her.

 

“Mom, she doesn’t really look like a Doctor, you sure she works here?”

 

The smile that was previously on Najia’s face immediately vanishes as she chances a glance in the Doctor's direction. the Doctor’s expression is almost unreadable in that moment, all eyes in the room on her. Najia looks back down at Yaz, who’s face is full of confusion at all the people in her room.

 

“Yaz, you know the Doctor. She’s your…” Najia’s eyes flick over to the Doctor once more as thinks back to the conversation the two women were having before her daughter woke up. “Friend.”

 

Yaz huffed.

 

“Well, you don’t sound very convinced of that mom.”

 

It was Graham who spoke up then.

 

“Don’t you remember us Yaz? Me, Graham. Ryan, and the Doctor?”

 

Yasmin’s eyes flicked between the three of them, finally settling on Ryan.

 

“Wait a sec? Ryan? As in, Ryan Sinclair?”

 

Ryan nodded, hope bubbling in his chest at the recognition. Only for it to dissipate when Yaz continued to speak.

 

“I haven’t seen you in like 10 years.” She took a moment to take a breath of oxygen through the mask. “What an earth are you doing here?”

 

The fear on all of their faces was clear in that moment. Yaz could remember her mother, but nothing of Team TARDIS. When Yaz’s eyes flicked back to the Doctor’s she could see tears making tracks down her cheeks. She once again looked back over to mom and whispered,

 

“It doesn’t seem very professional for a Doctor to cry.”

 

That was it for the Doctor, she couldn’t stand to see the way Yaz looked straight through her anymore. She flew out the room whispering under hear breath,

 

“Not again, not again.”

 

Flashbacks of Donna Noble played through her mind as she collapsed into a chair outside of Yaz’s room head in hands, the boys quickly following her out. Graham sat down next to the Doctor, placing a comforting arm around her shoulders as she cried into her hands. They had never seen the Doctor cry before, it was unnerving.

Ryan lent down in front of the Doctor, ready to ask the question that was on all of their minds.

 

“Doctor, what do we do?”

 

The Doctor slowly raised her face from her palms, sniffling and wiping her eyes as she tried to calm herself down, and gave the only answer she could think of in that moment.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! Comments and kudos are seriously appreciated!
> 
> Also sorry to say that I doubt I'll carry this fic on. It was more of just a test run for me to get back into writing so it is very unlikely that I'll turn this into a multi chap. Perhaps one day in the future I'll come back it! 
> 
> (Just imagine it all turns out ok for them in the end and Yaz gets her memory back and Yaz and The Doctor kiss fjkdfjgkdfjg)


End file.
